Jesus H. Christ is a Rock Star, Again

Have you ever wondered what happened in over 30 years to one of the most popular dudes on this planet? Jesus Christ, from age 1 to age 30, has a total of one passage giving account to his childhood. How in the hell can Jesus Christ only have one passage about his childhood? The worst part about the passage, it's not during the time of teenage puberty, hormones, rage, and depression.

Unfortunately, Christ's story is very short in the New Testament: he was born in a manger, was a genius at 12 years old, performed many miracles as an adult, died in a painful way, rose from the dead, and then he was gone. Personally, I've often wondered where any storytellers were for that long period of nothingness. It's not like it would be hard to find a kid who can heal the sick or is claiming to be the Son of God. Luckily, his childhood pal, Leviticus (a.k.a. Biff), has been resurrected to tell Christ's story again and that's what the book is blessing us with today.

Released in 2003, this amazing piece of literature has been bringing people to tears in both positive and negative ways. Christopher Moore will blow your mind away with some of the stuff he discovered about the missing years of Jesus Christ. Whether it's about a prostitution experimint, what the "H" stands for, or how Christ knows Kung Fu, it's sure to leave you questioning what truly happened over 2000 years ago.

If you absolutely love Jesus and were offended by the idea of "Hamlet 2," then stay away from this book and continue reading the New Testament; however, if you love history, adventure, and humor, you have to read this book. Life and religion pulls us all down in many ways, so pick up a copy of Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore and I guarantee it will bring a smile to your face.

The Unique Taste of Boulder

Beer is looked down upon in my state, so a good beer is very hard to come by. Luckily, as I was cruising through my small selection of beers at the State Liquor Store, I noticed something at the corner of my eye. I saw the label of a bottle and it looked like it already had one too many drinks. Obviously, I couldn't resist the extraordinary label that was beckoning me to partake of the contents inside.

Drinking from the "Beer of Life" was a great decision. The taste is very unique because it leaves a dry, hoppy feeling in your mouth. The look has a dark, orange tint, but the weight is as light as a feather. The percent of alcohol is decent (according to American standards), standing at 4.85% by volume. And, having a label that looks like it stepped out Jimi Hendrix's bus will guarantee you to be the life of the party.

I won't consider Hazed and Infused my favorite beer of all time, but I recommend it to all beer-lovers needing a change from the norm. Share the moment by yourself or with a friend. Enjoy the lasting memories when it was cool to smoke candy cigarettes in grade school, because Hazed and Infused will take you back to the days when it was cool to skip school and take hits on your friend's beanbag while playing Donkey Kong on Nintendo.

For more information, please visit the brewery's website at http://www.boulderbeer.com/

The Boss 2.0

There will not be a band that hits you harder than a group of four guys out of the small state of New Jersey. Brian Fallon, lead singer, has a voice that's so enticing that it would make any straight man want to fornicate with him. In comparison, he is a younger, darker version of Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen. The rest of the band consists of Fallon's friends - Alex Rosamilia (guitar), Alex Levine (bass), and Benny Horowitz (drums). These three complete the missing pieces to Fallon's puzzle and they're taking their music to any person who's willing to listen.

Formed in 2005, they have released three albums: Sink or Swim, Senor and the Queen, and The '59 Sound. Each album continues a blues-rock genre by integrating Fallon's cancerous-catching voice. The music will remind you of a blue-collar man returning from a hard days work having accomplished nothing, except that he has one more day to live. However, Fallon's lyrics will confuse you into questioning what all of his songs truly mean.

The Gaslight Anthem is a band that every man, woman, and child can enjoy. The music isn't heavy enough for older folks to cover his or her ears and scream, "Turn that damn music off!" But, it's not soft enough for kids to say, "This music is so lame and embarrassing." The Gaslight Anthem is a band that makes music appealing for everyone by meeting their standards and style right in the middle, so that nobody can disagree with what they're trying to accomplish - make music enjoyable for themselves and others.

The Book has Three Medals - Obviously It's Good

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if a drug lord from Central America controlled the world? Maybe one already has that sort of power, since drugs are a non-stop industry, but it took the mind of Nancy Farmer to give the world one more thing to worry about. The idea might sound far fetched, but realistically it could happen and that's what makes her story so interesting.

Farmer's story takes place on the border of the United States and Mexico. It's about a clone named Matthew, who happens to be the clone of one of the most powerful men on Earth. He holds the key to the future of slaves, leaders, and a powerful drug lord. He doesn't know this until later in his life, but it's his decision that will leave you questioning human morals. For most of Matthew's childhood, he lives in a secured house with no access to a normal life. A woman, who is the drug lord's slave, takes care of the boy and teaches him about the values of life. After being discovered by a group of children, his boring life is transformed into a discovery of friendship, power, hatred, shame, and hope.

The House of the Scorpion was intended for young adult readers, but any avid reader can enjoy the story of this lesser-than-human boy. Although the story takes place in the future, his story is more modern than what it seems - cloning, slavery, drugs, mafias, and environmental/political issues. It definitely wouldn't be a waste of time to get stung by the scorpion this summer. (That line will go down as worst line ever!)

The House of Gosh

Gosh looked among the emptiness around his kingdom and decided to create a word - boredom. To avoid experiencing his new word, he formed a big circle in nothingness and put stuff all around it; this place received the name - Earth. While on Earth, there wasn't much Gosh could do, so he decided to create alcohol and sexual congress, which created another word - excitement. Gosh discovered that sexual congress is uneventful without a partner, so two words were added to his dictionary - depressed masturbator. While looking in a clear pond, the waves distorted his image and it gave him an idea. Eliminate the penis, add some breasts, and install a smart lip. This thing will give him something to play with and experience suffering moments, so he called the creature - Woman. Therefore, this is how life began on Earth with man and woman coexisting.

This story sounds ridiculous, but aren't a lot of religious beliefs crazy in some way? Some people consider the word God offensive, but those who believe in the god Gosh will feel the same way. Gosh is becoming one of the most popular names on Earth; yet, no one knows who this guy is. The short version of his life: he created himself in a dark space a long time ago; he had a twin brother who created himself at the same time; unlike his older brother who wanted fame and glory, Gosh crawled away to a private beach to relax, which allowed his older brother, God, to take care of all of the stress and suffering on Earth.

Gosh isn't a selfish god, which is why he doesn't have any rules or commandments. In fact, he doesn't even have a church to attend. All he expects is people to treat one another in a respectful way and have a positive attitude as often as he, she, or it can. Yes, he certainly believes that ANYTHING is created equal. If you pray, he will not answer. If you pay tithes, he will not collect. If you seek his scriptures, you will not find any. How do I know this? Because I made it all up, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.